Menopause VS. Manopause

I recently wrote a poem on Menopause and was immediately chastized by an old friend to write one on Manopause as well.  In fact, he practly wrote it for me with his explanation of what Manopause was.  Here are both poems so you can determine for your self just what you have.

Menopause

I know I’m not perfect
And I have my flaws
But I thank the good Lord
Men don’t get menopause
We don’t suffer hot flashes
And reach for a fan
Again, thank the Lord
I was born just a man
Oh, don’t get me wrong
I so love my wife
But mood swings and hot flashes
Are causing we strife
I try to tune out
Let these changes subside
I don’t rock the boat
I just roll with the tide
But can someone please tell me
As a friend to a friend
When does this damn menopause
Come to an end?!


Mdailey 6/10/10
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Manopause

I wrote a poem on menopause and my good friend Peter asked how about a little ditty on MANopause....it is real........He then went on to define Manopause for me - - - A mental condition typically found in men in their mid to late 50's brought on by the realization that old age is just around the corner. Symptoms include: frequent reminiscing about the “good ol... See More’ days”, cranky judgmental attitude and a closed minded approach to anything new. Usually punctuated by the chronic need to play a lot golf and vote republican. The condition is difficult to cure and almost always progresses into oldtimers disease. (Sound familiar???)(Been there done that!!! ye ye ye) - - -


"Get off my lawn!" Mr. Wagner screamed at the kids playing next door. What happend to him? They asked each other, one kid whispered "my mom says he's got menopause.


What Peter didn’t recognize was that he had already written the poem for me – he just needed to add a word or two or change the order of things. So here is the poem - - -


Manopause is different from the Menopause of gals
Like the frequent reminiscing of the “good old days” with pals
There’s a cranky judgment attitude and a closed mind like approach
To any new fangled thingamajig or ideas you may broach
A chronic need to play some golf, and by some they mean a lot
And the vote is straight Republican, not a chicken in each pot
The condition isn’t curable, it progresses till the end
If this is somewhat like you, you have Manopause my friend.


Oh, one early warning symptom that this disease is coming on
Is yelling at the neighbor kids “Get off of my lawn”.


Peter’s words – my rearrangement of them and what do you know – a poem.


Mdailey 6/13/10