I wrote this a few years ago - I forgot to put the date down at the time.
I don’t understand why cupid
Represents Valentine’s Day
The guys who decided were stupid
Is pretty much all I can say
Whenever I think of romance
The last thing on my mind
Is a chubby winged toddler
With weapons of some kind
And while I am willing to do my portion
To honor the love of my life
Most men think of this day as extortion
And a Hall Mark day just for the wife
So as usual I'm not sending you flowers
And you're not even getting a card
But you know for the next several hours
I'll be thinking of you real hard
mdailey
Friday, February 5, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
This Day in History - Feb 4th
The year was 1959 – the Barbie Doll was born
Kids thought it just a doll – Critics called it porn
Created by Ruth Handler – a founder of Mattel
She named it for her daughter – was she endowed as well
And later when the Ken doll was brought into the light
She named it for her little boy – who never seemed quite right
The year was 1938 when Disney showed the world
What 7 little guys would do with one Snow White – a girl
They held her in a cabin way back in the woods
Made her cook and clean for them and pick up all their goods
Then somewhere in the story – she faked her own demise
A prince came to her rescue – the dwarfs were none the wise
The PLO was founded in 1969
Yasir thought it would unite divided Palestine
But peace – it did not happen and is not close at hand
They haven’t got a home yet – they just squat on Israel’s land
Patty Hearst was kidnapped in 1974
By the SLA from Berkley if you’re keeping score
They thought they had a gold mine with ransom money on the way
Then she showed up in the photos when they robbed the bank one day
Our Pat was disillusioned and so she joined the crew
And gladly fought against “the man” like all good terrorists do
But when the girl was captured she changed her sweet refrain
“I really didn’t have a choice – you know they washed my brain!”
Mdailey 02/04/08
Kids thought it just a doll – Critics called it porn
Created by Ruth Handler – a founder of Mattel
She named it for her daughter – was she endowed as well
And later when the Ken doll was brought into the light
She named it for her little boy – who never seemed quite right
The year was 1938 when Disney showed the world
What 7 little guys would do with one Snow White – a girl
They held her in a cabin way back in the woods
Made her cook and clean for them and pick up all their goods
Then somewhere in the story – she faked her own demise
A prince came to her rescue – the dwarfs were none the wise
The PLO was founded in 1969
Yasir thought it would unite divided Palestine
But peace – it did not happen and is not close at hand
They haven’t got a home yet – they just squat on Israel’s land
Patty Hearst was kidnapped in 1974
By the SLA from Berkley if you’re keeping score
They thought they had a gold mine with ransom money on the way
Then she showed up in the photos when they robbed the bank one day
Our Pat was disillusioned and so she joined the crew
And gladly fought against “the man” like all good terrorists do
But when the girl was captured she changed her sweet refrain
“I really didn’t have a choice – you know they washed my brain!”
Mdailey 02/04/08
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Today's Editorial - Dr. Murray
Dr. Murray
They picked up Dr. Murray
Manslaughter is the charge
They nabbed him at the airport
He no longer is at large
They say he killed our Michael
With his medical advice
And if he were to cop a plea
The fans would scream “NO DICE”
You see they have been clamoring
Since Michael was departed
They say this man’s been free too long
Let’s get the trial started
They said it was his needle
That produced a poison sting
That brought down our Pop Idol
That fans all thought the King
I’d say they’ve got the verdict
Already in their hand
They’re just waiting for Doc Murray
To finally take the stand
Mdailey 02/03/10
They picked up Dr. Murray
Manslaughter is the charge
They nabbed him at the airport
He no longer is at large
They say he killed our Michael
With his medical advice
And if he were to cop a plea
The fans would scream “NO DICE”
You see they have been clamoring
Since Michael was departed
They say this man’s been free too long
Let’s get the trial started
They said it was his needle
That produced a poison sting
That brought down our Pop Idol
That fans all thought the King
I’d say they’ve got the verdict
Already in their hand
They’re just waiting for Doc Murray
To finally take the stand
Mdailey 02/03/10
Women are Angels
A good friend of mine sent me the sentiment and I put it into rhyme for her. I hope you like it.
Women are angels sent down with love
To hold us or scold us or all the above
Sure it’s hard to believe but you’d better not scoff
If you break their hearts, their wings will fall off
And without those wings, she’s an unhappy chick
Flying at you on her crusty broomstick
So as Valentine’s nears, you had better take care
So she’ll have those wings when she takes to the air
Mdailey 01/27/10
Women are angels sent down with love
To hold us or scold us or all the above
Sure it’s hard to believe but you’d better not scoff
If you break their hearts, their wings will fall off
And without those wings, she’s an unhappy chick
Flying at you on her crusty broomstick
So as Valentine’s nears, you had better take care
So she’ll have those wings when she takes to the air
Mdailey 01/27/10
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
This is for all of you with significant others and no idea how to tell them how special they are on Valentine's Day. Just pick one of the simple 4-line poems and give it to your sweetheart and you should be OK. They have worked for me for the past 38 years with my wife.
Violets are blue
Roses are red
I forgot to say “love you”
This morning in bed.
Roses are red
Candy is sweet
Your loves keeps me going
And makes me complete
Roses are red
Violets are never
I married you once
But love you forever
Roses are red
But die off to soon
I’ll be thinking of you
From morning to noon
Roses are red
Violets are flowers
I’ve been thinking about you
For hours and hours
Roses are red
Violets – not quite
I’ve loved you forever
How bout tonight!
Roses are red
As I’ve told you before
I’ve loved you forever
Forever – and more!
Roses are red
Violets are blue
As the author intended
This means “I Love You”
Mdailey 02/14/06
Violets are blue
Roses are red
I forgot to say “love you”
This morning in bed.
Roses are red
Candy is sweet
Your loves keeps me going
And makes me complete
Roses are red
Violets are never
I married you once
But love you forever
Roses are red
But die off to soon
I’ll be thinking of you
From morning to noon
Roses are red
Violets are flowers
I’ve been thinking about you
For hours and hours
Roses are red
Violets – not quite
I’ve loved you forever
How bout tonight!
Roses are red
As I’ve told you before
I’ve loved you forever
Forever – and more!
Roses are red
Violets are blue
As the author intended
This means “I Love You”
Mdailey 02/14/06
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Holocaust – Day of Remembrance
They rounded us up one day in the rain
Herded us into a cattle-car train
We were just Jews, it was simple and plain
The pain – we must always remember
When the train stopped there were so many dead
Ushered into two groups, tears were all shed
Weak ones culled out and away they were led
That said – we must always remember
None of this ever has made any sense
Staying alive in good health our defense
We'd spend every day praying out by the fence
Consequence – we must always remember
At night we would gather and in silence we pray
Pray that we make it through one more day
What tomorrow would bring – no one could say
Today – we must always remember
Each morning we’d line up; they’d walk down the rows
Deciding who lives; deciding who goes
Each morning we’d pray that we weren’t one of those
God knows – we must always remember
And the stench in the camp from the ovens by noon
Reminded us all of our impending doom
Relief from this hell-hole could not come too soon
Repugn – we must always remember
There were thousands of us left back in the damp
In our bunks, in the ovens, or the cattle-car ramps
And surviving this ordeal left its own stamps
The camps – we must always remember
So each year we gather on Remembrance Day
To honor the loved ones who have passed away
And the horrible price that they had to pay
We pray – we will always remember
mdailey
Herded us into a cattle-car train
We were just Jews, it was simple and plain
The pain – we must always remember
When the train stopped there were so many dead
Ushered into two groups, tears were all shed
Weak ones culled out and away they were led
That said – we must always remember
None of this ever has made any sense
Staying alive in good health our defense
We'd spend every day praying out by the fence
Consequence – we must always remember
At night we would gather and in silence we pray
Pray that we make it through one more day
What tomorrow would bring – no one could say
Today – we must always remember
Each morning we’d line up; they’d walk down the rows
Deciding who lives; deciding who goes
Each morning we’d pray that we weren’t one of those
God knows – we must always remember
And the stench in the camp from the ovens by noon
Reminded us all of our impending doom
Relief from this hell-hole could not come too soon
Repugn – we must always remember
There were thousands of us left back in the damp
In our bunks, in the ovens, or the cattle-car ramps
And surviving this ordeal left its own stamps
The camps – we must always remember
So each year we gather on Remembrance Day
To honor the loved ones who have passed away
And the horrible price that they had to pay
We pray – we will always remember
mdailey
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Groundhog Day
There once was this groundhog named Phil
Who PETA says is getting ill
So they want to insist
That we cease and desist
Or a lawsuit their going to fill
You see, Groundhog Day’s getting quite near
And the crowd sometimes gathers to cheer
But he’s not harmed at all
Let’s let him make that call
This tradition we all hold so dear
Sure a robot could do the job too
And pop up when groundhogs are due
Weather Bug could decide
If it stays out or hides
But the concept just doesn’t ring true
Mdailey 01/27/10
Who PETA says is getting ill
So they want to insist
That we cease and desist
Or a lawsuit their going to fill
You see, Groundhog Day’s getting quite near
And the crowd sometimes gathers to cheer
But he’s not harmed at all
Let’s let him make that call
This tradition we all hold so dear
Sure a robot could do the job too
And pop up when groundhogs are due
Weather Bug could decide
If it stays out or hides
But the concept just doesn’t ring true
Mdailey 01/27/10
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Edgar Allan Poe
Today (Jan 19th) is Edgar Allan Poe’s birthday
I wish that I could write like him
A little bit morbid, a little bit grim
Now the chances of that are a little bit slim
But I wish that I could write like him
I wish that a raven would tap on my door
I wouldn’t get angry, I wouldn’t get sore
I wouldn’t ask questions like whatever for
If only a raven would rap on my door
But I just get a bunny, a turtle, a bird
All cute and cuddly haven’t you heard
No morbid or grim things uttered in word
Writing like Poe about them is absurd
So I guess I’m no poet like our dear Mr. Poe
For morbid and grim from me doesn’t flow
I’m just your typical regular schmo
But maybe the only poet you’ll ever know
No I’m just a poet down at the seashore
And I hope I write poems that you might go for
But Poe – he’s a poet so I’ll end this therefore
With a quote from a raven – Poe’s nevermore!
Mdailey 01/19/10
I wish that I could write like him
A little bit morbid, a little bit grim
Now the chances of that are a little bit slim
But I wish that I could write like him
I wish that a raven would tap on my door
I wouldn’t get angry, I wouldn’t get sore
I wouldn’t ask questions like whatever for
If only a raven would rap on my door
But I just get a bunny, a turtle, a bird
All cute and cuddly haven’t you heard
No morbid or grim things uttered in word
Writing like Poe about them is absurd
So I guess I’m no poet like our dear Mr. Poe
For morbid and grim from me doesn’t flow
I’m just your typical regular schmo
But maybe the only poet you’ll ever know
No I’m just a poet down at the seashore
And I hope I write poems that you might go for
But Poe – he’s a poet so I’ll end this therefore
With a quote from a raven – Poe’s nevermore!
Mdailey 01/19/10
Monday, January 18, 2010
Flood
The rivers are up
The levees are down
Gotta move on before we all drown
Rain keeps on falling
Sick of that sound
Gotta move on before we all drown
Piling up sandbags
Still losing ground
Gotta move on before we all drown
Taking our farm land
Flooding our town
Gotta move on before we all drown
Exhausted and beat
No hope to be found
Gotta move on before we all drown
Livestock let loose
Round up the old hound
Gotta move on before we all drown
Close up the place
One last look around
Gotta move on before we all drown
Me and the family
Don’t know where we’re bound
Gotta move on before we all drown
Gotta move on before we all drown
Gotta move on before we all drown
Gotta move on before we all drown
Mdailey 06/23/08
The levees are down
Gotta move on before we all drown
Rain keeps on falling
Sick of that sound
Gotta move on before we all drown
Piling up sandbags
Still losing ground
Gotta move on before we all drown
Taking our farm land
Flooding our town
Gotta move on before we all drown
Exhausted and beat
No hope to be found
Gotta move on before we all drown
Livestock let loose
Round up the old hound
Gotta move on before we all drown
Close up the place
One last look around
Gotta move on before we all drown
Me and the family
Don’t know where we’re bound
Gotta move on before we all drown
Gotta move on before we all drown
Gotta move on before we all drown
Gotta move on before we all drown
Mdailey 06/23/08
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
“No Pants Subway Ride”
8th Annual “No Pants Subway Ride”
It’s been brought to my attention
There’s a brief one-day suspension
Of the requirement to wear your pants and ride
It’s an improv-based experiment
To show there’s no embarrassment
And pants or not, you have no need to hide
So this Saturday, the 10th of Jan
Be you woman or a man
A lovely pair of drawers will hit the spot
Ignore the snickers and the stares
Act as if you had no cares
And ride the train as if you just forgot
There’ll be thousands round the world
That will leave their pants unfurled
And ride the train or metro casually
You can join them brave and bold
Sans pants as you’ve been told
Or once on board, just drop them gradually
If you are among the masses
Please show no bare assess
Wear some drawers in regal dignity
If you ride the train this weekend
Remember, no fair peekin’
If I see you, pretend you don’t see me!
Mdailey 01/08/09
If you want some ideas on what to wear or not to wear and you are not easily offended, check out the No Pants website from this year. There are pictures from the DC Metro as well as from trains and subways around the world. Just Google No Pants Day 2010
It’s been brought to my attention
There’s a brief one-day suspension
Of the requirement to wear your pants and ride
It’s an improv-based experiment
To show there’s no embarrassment
And pants or not, you have no need to hide
So this Saturday, the 10th of Jan
Be you woman or a man
A lovely pair of drawers will hit the spot
Ignore the snickers and the stares
Act as if you had no cares
And ride the train as if you just forgot
There’ll be thousands round the world
That will leave their pants unfurled
And ride the train or metro casually
You can join them brave and bold
Sans pants as you’ve been told
Or once on board, just drop them gradually
If you are among the masses
Please show no bare assess
Wear some drawers in regal dignity
If you ride the train this weekend
Remember, no fair peekin’
If I see you, pretend you don’t see me!
Mdailey 01/08/09
If you want some ideas on what to wear or not to wear and you are not easily offended, check out the No Pants website from this year. There are pictures from the DC Metro as well as from trains and subways around the world. Just Google No Pants Day 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Disney Love Life
I got the first two lines of this poem in my head when I went to bed last night and composed this before I could go to sleep. Don't has me why - sometimes these things just pop into my head and I can't do a thing about them but write them down.
Is your love life like that of Aladdin?
Before he uncovered a lamp
Or maybe like Disney’s dog Lady
Before she encounters her Tramp
Are you living a life just like Snow White
With seven good guys all at once
Or maybe like Geppetto’s puppet
When he turned into a donkey dunce
If Disney is telling your story
Then pray that you’re just at the start
Be careful and pray and maybe some day
You will end up with a happy heart
Till then go on rubbing that lamp
And looking for your kind-hearted tramp
Don’t take apples from strangers
Be wary of dangers
And just let your love life revamp
Somewhere your Prince Charming is looking
And a wishing star’s starting to shine
And your hero is taking the booking
And everything’s going to be fine
Mdailey 01.12/10
Is your love life like that of Aladdin?
Before he uncovered a lamp
Or maybe like Disney’s dog Lady
Before she encounters her Tramp
Are you living a life just like Snow White
With seven good guys all at once
Or maybe like Geppetto’s puppet
When he turned into a donkey dunce
If Disney is telling your story
Then pray that you’re just at the start
Be careful and pray and maybe some day
You will end up with a happy heart
Till then go on rubbing that lamp
And looking for your kind-hearted tramp
Don’t take apples from strangers
Be wary of dangers
And just let your love life revamp
Somewhere your Prince Charming is looking
And a wishing star’s starting to shine
And your hero is taking the booking
And everything’s going to be fine
Mdailey 01.12/10
Monday, January 11, 2010
Winter Wedding
I attended my neice's wedding on 2 Jan. The weather was cold but the warmth of the occassion and the love of the family made it all worth while.
They dreamt of a white winter wedding
It came true – the town’s covered in snow
The excitement was going up daily
The temperature falling below
Minus 30 degrees with a wind chill
Noses and cheeks were all red
This was not how I liked my winters
I was thinking of this with some dread
The hotel where we all stayed was regal
All comfy and cozy and clean
Outside we saw more than one eagle
At one time I counted sixteen
The relatives came from all over
From east coast and west cost you bet
The farthest had gotten there early
The nearest had not got there yet
The couples’ true love was apparent
The look in their eyes seem to glow
But the reception hall still had to be set up
And we only had one day to go
The bride’s family all got together
And duties assigned to them all
The printer’s, the florist, the jeweler’s
And then some of them went to the mall
The wedding was held at St. Mary’s
In Iowa City - downtown
The groom and the bride’s dad wore tails
The bride in a flowing white gown
The bride’s family all cried when they saw her
The cousins were honored to sing
The wedding took place at the altar
At the altar they each got a ring
Then off to the “Old Brick” to party
A walk of three blocks we were told
The bride and groom rode there in comfort
The rest of us walked in the cold
While the bride and groom took some pictures
The drinking and music began
The former a little too early
The latter much louder than planned
We sat down for dinner and speeches
The best man and bride’s maid gave toasts
The talked of the love of the couple
And which of them could talk the most
Then with everyone out on the dance floor
The girls’ heels turned in for flats
The guys had all shed their jackets
And all at once we saw the bats
First one, then two, then another
They were swooping and diving and such
With everyone diving for cover
The bats were a bit much too much
The cliché of “Bats in the Belfry”
Unfortunately came true that night
We tried but we couldn’t catch them
So we called in their local B. Fife
Barney brought Tupperware to contain it
But the bats disappeared you can bet
He said that he couldn’t restrain it
For he hadn’t brought him a net
When he left the bats came out of hiding
Back to swooping and diving for fun
With everyone trying to catch them
But none of them getting it done
Then all at once, the party’s over
The bride and groom slipped out of sight
The tables are cleared, the candles blown out
We decided to call it a night
They had dreamt of a white winter wedding
And a white winter wedding they had
In spite of the cold and the wind and the snow
The wedding was not all that bad
Mdailey 01/11/10
They dreamt of a white winter wedding
It came true – the town’s covered in snow
The excitement was going up daily
The temperature falling below
Minus 30 degrees with a wind chill
Noses and cheeks were all red
This was not how I liked my winters
I was thinking of this with some dread
The hotel where we all stayed was regal
All comfy and cozy and clean
Outside we saw more than one eagle
At one time I counted sixteen
The relatives came from all over
From east coast and west cost you bet
The farthest had gotten there early
The nearest had not got there yet
The couples’ true love was apparent
The look in their eyes seem to glow
But the reception hall still had to be set up
And we only had one day to go
The bride’s family all got together
And duties assigned to them all
The printer’s, the florist, the jeweler’s
And then some of them went to the mall
The wedding was held at St. Mary’s
In Iowa City - downtown
The groom and the bride’s dad wore tails
The bride in a flowing white gown
The bride’s family all cried when they saw her
The cousins were honored to sing
The wedding took place at the altar
At the altar they each got a ring
Then off to the “Old Brick” to party
A walk of three blocks we were told
The bride and groom rode there in comfort
The rest of us walked in the cold
While the bride and groom took some pictures
The drinking and music began
The former a little too early
The latter much louder than planned
We sat down for dinner and speeches
The best man and bride’s maid gave toasts
The talked of the love of the couple
And which of them could talk the most
Then with everyone out on the dance floor
The girls’ heels turned in for flats
The guys had all shed their jackets
And all at once we saw the bats
First one, then two, then another
They were swooping and diving and such
With everyone diving for cover
The bats were a bit much too much
The cliché of “Bats in the Belfry”
Unfortunately came true that night
We tried but we couldn’t catch them
So we called in their local B. Fife
Barney brought Tupperware to contain it
But the bats disappeared you can bet
He said that he couldn’t restrain it
For he hadn’t brought him a net
When he left the bats came out of hiding
Back to swooping and diving for fun
With everyone trying to catch them
But none of them getting it done
Then all at once, the party’s over
The bride and groom slipped out of sight
The tables are cleared, the candles blown out
We decided to call it a night
They had dreamt of a white winter wedding
And a white winter wedding they had
In spite of the cold and the wind and the snow
The wedding was not all that bad
Mdailey 01/11/10
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